Style

I'm sitting at my desk, staring at the large mirror in front of me. I hate it. I hate myself. I look like a disgusting slob. My Jewfro is wild and frizzy. My lips are plump. My body is skinny and lacks a lot of muscle despite my activity in gymnastics. I look like a fucking stick. Or a girl as some have told me. Fuck you genetics. Fuck you diabetes. I hope you're happy.

I buried my face in my arms and started to cry. I'm sick and tired of this. I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of being picked on, insulted because of my looks. Ever since that fake list in fourth grade, my looks have been on my mind. And for some reason, everyone feels the need to remind me how much I need to fix myself or I'll be "forever alone". That changed a few months ago when people found out that Stan and I were dating. Not only I am insulted for my looks; but now the girls insult me for "taking their man" because they're desperate to get into his pants. They constantly tell me that Stan is cheater and that they had a fabulous time fucking my boyfriend. The guys call me a faggot and some have beaten me up. When my mother questions my injuries, I just tell her I hurt myself from falling or I got in a fight with Cartman.

I don't know what Stan sees in me that's so attractive. We've been dating for nearly six years now. We're supposed to be celebrating our anniversary in two months. Today is Valentine's Day and he's coming over to spend the night. We have the whole house to ourselves since my parents are spending time together outside the home while Ike is on an out of state class field trip. I continued to cry in my arms. I never heard him come into my room.

"Kyle? Oh my god, Kyle!" He screamed as he tossed his backpack on the floor. He ran towards me, holding a bouquet of lilies in his left hand.

"Stan?" I said as I lifted my head up.

"Kyle! Kyle, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I sniffled, "Oh it's nothing…"

"No, it's not nothing. Something is wrong. Was it the kids at school again? What did those bastards do now?" Stan angrily said.

"It's nothing Stan. Please just forget about it."

He grabbed my shoulders and turned me over, "Please Kyle… tell me what's wrong. I can't bare to see you like this," he said. I saw the hurt and worry in his eyes. I couldn't hold back any longer. I bursted into tears as I quickly embraced him.

"Stan, I can't take this anymore! I hate how I look! I'm such an ugly slob! I can't take all these insults anymore."

I heard nothing from him as I cried in his shoulder.

"Stan?"

He responded by pulling me into a tight embrace, his hand continuously sliding up and down on my hair.

"Kyle, please don't cry. You shouldn't be listening to those assholes. They have nothing better to do than put you down because they hate themselves. They don't see you the same way as I do. And I wish they did."

I lifted my head off his shoulder, "Really?"

"Of course! You know, you should think of it this way. There are over 6 billion people on this planet of ours. But there's only one Kyle. One very unique Kyle that can never be replaced. Even if you were cloned, it wouldn't be the same. You can never be replaced. Ever."

For the first time all day, I smiled. He lifted his hand and wiped my tears away before placing his hand on my cheek. I gently caressed his hand as I shut my eyes, "Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm attractive?"

His eyes grew wide, "What? Oh Kyle, of course I do!"

"Do you really mean that?"

"Kyle, you could wear an oversized Terrance and Phillip t-shirt with baggy sweatpants and I'd still find you attractive. But you have to remember, It's not all about the outside. I love the inside too. You're intelligent, thoughtful, and filled with empathy. Those are all great qualities. Looks are one thing but there are other things in life that make a person attractive. And that's something that those assholes at school forgot," he explained as he placed a kiss on my forehead. I just stood there, unable to say anything.

"You know Kyle... I'll let you in on a secret."

Anxiety built in my stomach, "Every time you insult yourself… I feel hurt. I know I don't fully understand what you're going through, but it really hurts to hear you say those things about yourself. Because I don't see you as this "disgusting slob" you call yourself. I see the complete opposite. I see someone who is smart, compassionate, romantic… That's how I see it. And I wish you did too. Because it's truth."

"I-I never knew you felt that way..."

"Remember Kyle, they can say whatever they want but you shouldn't be so focused on what they think. Because you're not dating them. You're dating me."

My eyes grew wide. He was right. He was 100 percent, without a doubt, right. I was so focused on them and their insults when in reality I shouldn't have been. The only thing that really mattered was what Stan thought of me. And he loves everything about me. I can't believe I put the both of us through all this.

"I'm sorry Stan. I can't believe how stupid I've been acting lately. Do you think you can forgive me for all this?"

"Oh Kyle, of course I can. I'm just happy to see you smile again," he said. I laughed at his comment.

"Oh yeah, I forgot!" he said. He turned to my desk and grabbed the bouquet of lilies off my desk, "For you."

I smiled as I accepted his gift. I brought them close and took a quick sniff at them. I thanked him by placing a shy kiss on his lips.

"They're beautiful. Thank you!"

He smiled, "I knew you would like them. I could never forget your favourite flower."

I moved in closer, "So… what to you have planned for tonight? We have the whole house to ourselves."

"Hold on, I'll get my bag."

He walked over and picked up his backpack that he previously tossed on the floor. He picked up the bag and brought it over. He unzipped it and started digging around. He pulled out a DVD. I briefly saw the cover. It had some… questionable imagery on it.

"Now Kyle, just bare with me on this. I know neither of us like to watch porn but Kenny has been begging me to see this one and wouldn't shut up about it. So I agreed to it and he pulled some strings to get this. He told me this is one of the best gay porn films ever made. You up for it?"

My face was flushed red but I managed to crack a smile as I put his arms around his shoulders, "I guess once doesn't hurt. Maybe later tonight we could try any new moves that we learned from the movie… moves that don't break my back of course."

He smirked, "With that flexible body of yours, I don't think that would be a problem."

Bunny

Going through my make-up bag, I pull out a stick of pink lip gloss and applied it to my lips. It put the final touches to my face, adding a shine that brought out my curvy lips. Tonight was going to be a big night for me. It's Valentine's Day and Kenny had planned on taking me out to dinner. For the last few weeks, he had been working over-time at his job at the coffee shop to save up for this event. He wanted it to be a special day for the both of us.

I walk towards my closet and opened it up. I moved part of my everyday wardrobe to the side and pulled a piece of drywall out of the way. Behind was a large hole in the wall. A large hole that contained my double life.

At school and home, I am Butters Stotch. But in public, I am Marjorine Stotch. Very few people know about my double life as a female. Only my friends and my boyfriend are aware of it and they don't have any issues with it. I would never break the news about this to anyone at school. If Kyle gets badly beaten and insulted just for being gay, I would get an even worse treatment. And don't get me started on my parents. God only knows what my father would do to me.

I grabbed my wig, a strapless bra and a brand-new sea green strapless dress. I walked back to my mirror. I removed my turquoise sweater and green jeans and tossed them to the side. I put on my strapless bra and stuffed it with soft cloths. I always found socks to be uncomfortable for bra stuffing. I grabbed my new dress and slowly slipped into it. I took the wig off my table and slowly placed it on my head, making sure it was properly put into place. As I was finishing the final touches on my looks, I heard a knock on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Only the most awesome guy around."

I laughed, "Come in! The door's unlocked."

I turned around and saw Kenny come in, holding a bouquet of roses in his left hand. He leaned against the door frame as he took a good look at me.

"Damn Butters. It doesn't matter what gender you're portraying yourself. You still look sexy as ever," he smirked. I giggled as I ran towards him for a hug and a kiss. He handed me the roses and I happily accepted them. I had a feeling he would be bringing me flowers so I brought up a vase earlier today. I told him I'd be back and I left for the bathroom to fill up the vase. I came back to my room, unwrapped the plastic, placed the roses in the vase and placed it on my night table. Kenny was relaxing on my bed.

"You know Butters, you could of changed clothes at my place."

"Oh Kenny, don't worry about it. Everything is fine! My parents left not too long ago for dinner at a fancy restaurant. We should be okay," I smiled as I slipped into my high-heel shoes.

"I hope you're right. I just don't want you to get hurt. I know what your father is capable of and the last thing I want to see is you get badly beaten."

I walked over to him and sat on his lap. I put my arms around his shoulders, "I appreciate the concern. But I'm sure we'll be okay," I said as I placed my lips on his cheek. When I pulled away, he took my chin and pulled me close so our lips would touch. Our kiss was sweet and gentle, not demanding at all. We pulled away from each other, smiling as we admired each other's beauty.

"We should be going. We'll lose our seat if we're late," I said. He nodded in agreement. I got off of him and the two of us were walking out of my room and down the stairs, our arms entangled together. We laughed as he cracked a joke that he had heard from Cartman earlier in the week. I grabbed my keys from the bowl near the door. I opened the door and got the biggest surprise of my life. My parents standing in front of us, my father was about to put the key in the door when we opened it.

"Oh shit..." Kenny said.

"B-Butters?!" my father yelled.

"Butters, is that you?!" my mother asked.

"Aw hamburgers…"

"Butters! What is the meaning of this?!" my father yelled.

"Dad, I can explain!"

"Well you better start talking! Because I demand to know why you're dressed like a girl and why your arm is entangled with another man!"

I turned to Kenny, unsure what to do next. We held hands as our fingers entangled, "Go on. I have your back."

I gulped, "Mom, Dad… I'm transgendered. And Kenny is my boyfriend. We've been dating 4 years now."

My parents jaws dropped, "What?!" my father screamed.

"I will not have a transgender for a child! I could of handled having a gay son. But I draw the line at you being transgendered! I want you to march right back upstairs to your room and put on some proper clothes and stay up there because you are grounded mister!"

For some reason, I lost control. I was speaking without thinking, "No."

My parents looked on in surprise, "What? I just told you to go upstairs!"

"Well, I don't want to go upstairs!"

"Butters! What has gotten into you?!" my father continued to yell.

"Nothing Dad. I'm just being me. This is what makes me happy. This is how God made me! And you can't change that! No one can. Because I am who am I."

"Butters..." my mother quietly said. My father just stared on in disbelief.

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a date at a restaurant that we're already late for," I said as I pushed our way through my parents. We walked up to Kenny's car and he kindly opened the door for me. After I got in, he shut the door. I looked on to my parents who were still standing in the doorway in complete disbelief of what just took place. Kenny got into the car and started her up and we drove right off into the night.

"Stephen, what has happened to our boy?"

"I-I don't know Linda. But I don't think we have a son anymore…"

"Damn Butters, I never knew you had it in you! I'm impressed!" Kenny said.

"Thanks! I guess it was from all of those years of suppressing myself. It feels good to get that out!" I smiled.

"I'm proud of you for what you did back there. But I'm worried about what will happen next."

"I'd rather not think about that now. Lets just enjoy this beautiful night together. We'll worry about our problems afterwards."

"You're right. Oh yeah Butters?"

"Yeah?"

"...I love you."

I smiled, "I love you too Kenny."

Candy

I packed up my books and quickly dashed out of the class. I wanted to meet up with my boyfriend of two years before he leaves me behind like he did last time. Who is this guy? Is it Token? Is it Craig? Is it Kevin? No, no, and definitely no. My boyfriend is Eric Cartman.

I admit it was a shocker when the feelings started showing up again. I thought I rid of those completely in third grade. I guess Cupid had other plans for me. But dating Cartman came at a cost. It messed up some of my friendships with some of the girls and it ruined my reputation to a certain degree but overall life has been normal for me. I'm a straight A student, I'm President of the Student Council and the Environment Council, I still have my BBF Bebe on my side, and I maintain a great friendship with Stan even after all these years. It doesn't come a huge surprise he chose Kyle after we broke up in fifth grade. You can't separate those two even if one tried. I'm fully supportive of his decision because whatever makes him happy makes me happy.

My relationship with Cartman is… different. We don't give each other pet names but rather we insult each other. In a loving way. He's not a romantic at all but I don't mind. I kind of knew that before entering the relationship. But sometimes I wonder if he truly loves me. Is he just using me for his own gain? It's an answer I'll probably never find out. He's a manipulator and does a damn good job of it.

But enough of those negative thoughts! It's Valentine's Day! I'm hoping Cartman has something planned. It doesn't need to be extravagant. Just a walk in the park or eating at the ice cream shop would be fine. I'm a simple girl and I don't need anything special. As I walked down a flight of stairs, my bag placed on my shoulders, I saw Cartman in the distance, waiting at the front door. I ran towards him, screaming his name.

"Cartman!"

He turned around and showed off a small smile. I placed my arms around his waist and placed my head on his shoulder. He placed his arm around my shoulder and placed a kiss on my head.

"How's my babe today?"

"Pretty good. What about you?"

"Ugh, so glad school is over. Nothing went right today. After the kind of day I've had, I'm heading straight for home, curl up on the couch with some Cheesy Poofs and watch the Valentine's Day special of Terrance and Phillip."

My smile dropped and my heart sank, "Oh… I see."

"What? What's the matter?"

"It's just… I thought we could spend time together as it is Valentine's Day and all…"

"We can spend time together! You can watch the special with me!"

"Cartman, you know I hate Terrance and Phillip. It's stupid and nothing but fart jokes," I pouted.

"It's not stupid! It's a classic!" He argued.

"Fine, go and watch your stupid show. I'm fine being on my own anyway," I growled as I pushed him away from me and stormed off.

"Oh goddamn it," I heard him mumble.

"Fine Wendy! I'll spend the day with you!"

I stopped in my tracks. I turned around and smiled at him, "Really?"

"Yes! Now get your ass back here."

Ah yes. I forgot he's not one with romantic words. I quickly run back to him and I pull him in for a hug. I could see the blush forming on his face when he asked me what I wanted to do. Since he originally was going to go home to eat and relax, I suggested going for ice cream. That way we tackle both needs without the use of a television set and there were definitely no arguments. We left the school together as we held hands. I looked over to him and he had a shade of bright pink on his face. I couldn't help but giggle. He always does that when we hold hands and he looks cute when it does it too.

We arrived at the local ice cream shop and the place was packed with couples, both young and old. We saw a couple of kids from school here but none of them noticed us come in to the building. They were too busy being in each other's company and some were making out without shame. We got to the counter and the man asked for our order. Before I could open my mouth, Cartman blurts out two large chocolate sundaes. I told him that I thought we could of shared a large sundae together. He started to whine a bit, like he normally does, but after enough persuasion he changed the order. But he made the sundae an extra large one. Typical Cartman. I'm not sure how we're supposed to finish it in time without it being fully melted but knowing him he'll probably inhale the whole thing before I can touch it.

When we got our sundae, we picked a spot near the window. I hadn't even gotten the chance to sit down yet and Cartman was already digging into the sundae like tomorrow didn't exist. I took my place and I scooped up some of the ice cream. I took a good look at it but for some reason I wasn't that hungry. The thought of him not truly loving me was giving such anxiety, almost feeling… scared. I put a lot of effort into making our relationship work. I know that we do clash sometimes over certain things but in the end I still love him.

"You gonna eat that?"

I snapped out of my thoughts, "Hmm? What did you say?"

"I said, are you going to eat that? Because it's melting all over the table."

I looked down and sure enough, it was melting on the table. I apologized and I quickly grabbed a napkin to wipe up the mess. I grabbed my spoon once again but like before I refused to eat. Without thinking, I put the spoon back and I blurted out, "Cartman, do you love me?"

He stopped eating and glared at me, "What?"

"I said, do you love me?"

He put his spoon down, looked at me seriously and sighed, "Look Wendy… I'm going to be honest with you. I know I'm not the most romantic guy you've ever dated. I'm sure Stan and Token were 1000 times better at being romantic than me. But I really do try. This is the longest relationship I've ever been in. My relationships normally don't last a week. You want you why? Because I later find out that it was all just a joke. It was nothing more than a mere prank by the girls just to see how long they could stand being with me. They even all bet on it! They betted on who could last the longest with me without gagging. Those girls broke my heart eight times because of their stupid joke! For once I actually felt loved for a change. I could finally be just like my friends! But then it all just went downhill. I felt like maybe I wasn't meant for love. Maybe God wanted me to be alone. But then you came along. Even after all we been through, you still harboured feelings me. You know, I never told you this but I was really happy when you kissed me during the debate back in third grade. I felt like maybe there was a chance for me. I kind of knew you were going to back to Stan at the end of all this but there was a part of me that didn't want you to go back to him. In the end, you did go back to him. And I sort of felt my heart shatter a bit as we walked our separate ways. So to answer your question, yes. Yes I do love you. Now can I go back to eating my ice cream?"

I nearly broke into tears. Was this honestly how he felt about me?

"Oh Cartman… I-I never knew… I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. That's water under the bridge now. Those girls were losers anyway," He said as he was eating the sundae. "Just remember that I do love you. Even if I don't show it in the most romantic way possible. Now eat your sundae. I didn't pay for us to have a melted sundae."

I smiled and laughed. I took the spoon and started eating, explosions of flavour all across my mouth. I opened my eyes and I saw a spoon in front of me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to feed you. I assume this is romantic? I saw it in a movie once…" he trailed off. I smiled and opened up my mouth and he fed me the sundae. I returned the favour. He turned his head to the side and blushed heavily as he ate the sundae. I giggled at his expression. This moment couldn't be anymore perfect. I wanted it to last forever.