Secrets of an Icelandic Teenager

Einar sat completely dumbfound. Never in a million years did he picture this happening. No, this was something that only happened in his dreams and in the many fantasies he had.

Björn Oxenstjärna had kissed him.

For the last several years, he had been infatuated with the Swede. It all started when Einar was 13, Björn was 16. He and his brother Aksel had been friends with him as well as with two other boys named Christian and Timo. The five of them had been friends since they were children. Despite the personality clashes, the five of them got along well and it was almost impossible to separate them; a brotherhood that was like no other on the playgrounds of their small town. The kids at their school had dubbed them "The Nordic 5" as they were the only kids in town who had any Nordic heritage. It was a title that the five of them carried well into their adulthood.

It was then Einar began to feel differently about him. He began noticing certain things about him that he didn’t before like how well-defined his body was when they had gone for a swim in Christian’s pool that summer. Einar had started to become more timid around him. His heart beat just a little faster than it normally would and at times, he swore the people around him could hear it through his chest. He would also sometimes feel his face heat up whenever he looked at him or hear him speak. He didn’t quite understand what he was feeling but was uncomfortable to ask his brother. Instead he tried to bottle his feelings, hoping they would slowly disappear if he completely ignored them. It did the exact opposite of what he wanted.

It was at 15 when things began to change. It is was no longer just an innocent crush. His feelings had developed much further than that. He had down-right fallen for him. Einar wanted him in everyway possible. And it was around this time that lust soon ended up in the picture. Einar was not one for sex. Unlike many of his male peers, he didn’t find it all that appealing. Pornography was something that he had a particular distaste to. He had watched it a few times, courtesy of the internet and his father’s tiny DVD collection, but found it to be uninteresting. His opinions towards masturbation were much the same. He had done it a few times before but never found it satisfying to any degree. He had come to the conclusion that maybe that kind of stuff just wasn’t for him. But that changed one night when he dreamt about him. Having dreams about Björn was nothing new for Einar. He had dreams about him before but this was the first that had crossed into sexual territory. When he awoke that night, he was in dire need to take care of business and when he did, he experienced a release that left him trembling in his legs. Since then, picturing the two of them together was the only way he could get off. Nothing else would do the trick.

In the present day, Einar was 17 and summer break was beginning to wind down. The group was soon going to be splitting. Aksel, Christian, Björn and Timo were set to start university out of town. They had decided to put off their studies for a few years to make some extra money to set aside for their education. This was going to be their last week together so the group decided to make the best of it. With their parents gone on vacation, Aksel and Einar decided on an old fashioned sleepover, just like they used to do when they were kids. It was your basic sleepover filled with loud music, cheesy old movies and lots of alcohol. After everyone had long since passed out on the living room floor, Einar awoke to find his brother’s head resting on his leg, still clenching the empty bottle of Finlandia that he and Timo shared. He gently pushed his brother’s head off and quickly got up to head to the kitchen for something to drink. His mouth was feeling a little dry and a glass of water would certainly do the trick. When he arrived to the kitchen, he found Björn sitting at the table with a half-empty glass of water. Hiding behind the living room wall, Einar couldn’t help but stare. Even at three in the morning he still looked as good ever. He could rock the most basic of clothes, in this case a pair of light blue boxers and a white T-shirt, and it could leave Einar weak in the knees. When Björn noticed Einar’s head poking through the side of the wall, a small smile formed on his face, leaving Einar flushed. But he kept his cool as he walked over to the sink and picked out a glass from the top cabinet and filled it up with tap water. He then walked over and sat next to Björn where he prompted a conversation.

"Couldn't sleep?" Einar asked curiously. He nodded.

"Mm... Got 'lot on m'mind."

“Want to talk about it?” he asked but Björn didn’t answer back. Einar became curious but didn’t want to press further if he wasn’t comfortable with the topic. Einar was about to change the topic when Björn interrupted him.

"'m goin' miss everyone when we all go. We’re all goin' ta the same place but we’ll meet new faces. 'm scared of losing everyone and wh't we have—"

"Don’t be stupid," he interjected, "How can you make such a remark like that? We're always going to be "The Nordic 5." Nothing is going to change that. Even if at times, Christian does get annoying after a while..."

Björn let out a chuckle, a sight that was rare for most, and cupped Einar’s cheek, "Yer a good kid Einar. Just like yer brother," Björn said before he placed a gentle kiss on Einar’s lips. The kiss was hesitant on Einer’s part as too many emotions and thoughts were flying through his whole body. He immediately thought this was nothing more than a dream but when it became clear that that wasn’t the case, Einar relaxed and settled into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Björn’s neck. This was everything that Einar wanted. He was kissing the man he had desired for so long. He felt like the luckiest seventeen year old in world. Nothing could have been more perfect than this.

When the two broke away, they rested their foreheads together as grins were soon plastered on their drowsy faces.

"How did you know?"

"Aksel told me. Been wantin' ta tell ya I liked ya but too embarrassed to."

Einar was ready to wake his brother up from his peaceful slumber and give him the rant of his life for splurging his secrets out. But seeing Björn shy away made Einar forget everything as his heart fluttered. It was no secret between the group that Björn was the nervous-type when it came to love. Einar was no different and that’s one of the things that he liked about him. He remembers when they were growing up, the other kids were terrified to be around him. Speaking his name was a big no-no among the other groups in town. People had branded him a monster that shouldn’t be provoked. But Björn was far from that image. His facial features appeared cold but Einar grew up knowing a gentle giant who was simply timid and protective of the group. He hated conflicts and loved to cook, make crafts, and sew. Yes what a monster he truly was, Einar sarcastically said to himself.

"You better stay in contact with me," Einar remarked before Björn placed a kissed on Einar's forehead.

"I promis'. I give ya permission to send Aksel after me if I forget."

© TESSISAMESS