Prologue

Eyvindur,

Ma armastan sind, Eyvindur.

Eduard Tammsaare

Eduard had a heart of gold. When someone was down on their luck, he was there. When someone needed a helping hand, he was there. There was no one he wouldn’t extend his heart out to. His mother always loved that about him and described him as “a light that never stopped shining.”

Eduard came from an upper-middle class family. His family was particularly wealthy and both his parents were intellectuals and nationalistic. He doesn’t know much about his parents’ lives. They never talked much about their past. His father was a business man and ran a factory that employed a lot of lower-class Estonians. His mother was a homemaker and Eduard was particularly fond of her. She was a strong woman who was very opinionated. The arts were prominent on her side of the family, who many worked as musicians and poets, and he learned everything there was to know about music from her. Despite her strong image, she was not well physically. She was prone to illness frequently and it posed a lot of problems especially during pregnancy. Out of the five children she bared, Eduard was the only one of his siblings that survived infancy. Three of them were stillborn.

His mother saw from an early age that her son was talented and filled with potential. She trained him every day to master piano and singing, even on days when she couldn’t get out of bed. Eduard’s father however had different plans. He wanted his son to take over the company when he was ready to retire but Eduard had little interest in running it. He and his father frequently butted heads a lot and his mother was always the one who tried to restore the peace in their household. But if there was anything the two men could agree on was that they were passionate about the land they came from. When the Estonian Army began recruiting soldiers to fight the Red Army, his father immediately signed up to fight. Eduard desperately wanted to fight alongside him but with his mother needing medical assistance and no one to care for her, he was forced to stay behind. The day he left for the battlefield was the last time Eduard ever saw him.

With his father gone, it meant he was forced to take on the role as the owner of his father’s company. But what his father hadn’t told him or his wife was that before he left for war, he had changed his will and left the company to his long-time friend and business partner. Instead he left his family with a hefty amount of money so they could live a comfortable life. Eduard used part of the money to put himself through university and earned his Bachelor’s in Music. To celebrate his accomplishments, he had decided to go out and hit the clubs in hopes of meeting up with friends.

But that is when he found her, a small spectacle that caught the corner of his eye. It was no secret that Eduard had a big heart. Some would have looked past it but he couldn’t leave a woman lying there when it was clear that she needed help. Eduard had gone to check the body. She was lying in a pool of her own blood and she was completely lifeless. But when Eduard tried to check to see if she was still breathing, the police had arrived and assumed he was her attacker. Trying to reason with them proved be useless. The situation did not help when he realized his hands were covered in her blood. It was the worst decision he could have made but in a panic, he began to run from the scene. He was quickly followed by authorities on foot but he had eventually lost them after taking cover in an abandoned building. He looked down at his hands and burst into tears. Eduard was terrified and had no idea what to do. The police assumed he was guilty and knew there was no way to prove his innocence. He walked alone, didn’t make it to any dance clubs when he had found the body, and her blood was on his hands. They had every right to believe he was the guilty one. Eduard knew he was no longer safe especially when the officers had seen his face. He ran straight for home and washed the blood off his hands. When he explained what had happened to his mother, she was determined to protect her only son and made some phone calls. She believed that the only way for her son to be safe, he would have to leave the country. She did not trust the police especially with the chief who the family had problems with in the past. Eduard didn't understand what she meant by “problems” but she refused to speak about it.

Since the incident, Eduard had gone into hiding at his home. He struggled to sleep and nightmares plagued him. Whenever the police would arrive at their home, he would hide in the cellar where his father’s workshop was located. By the end of the second week, his mother’s pleas were secretly granted. A family friend named Heino who worked high within the government pulled some strings and Eduard was given an envelope with papers, including a birth certificate and passport, that assured him that he could escape the country.

“I thought I had requested to have the name changed to “Paavo Saar?” These documents say ‘Olev Pääsuke’ instead.”

“It’s recently come to light that two brothers, Paavo and Anders Saar, are wanted in Haapsalu for robbery and kidnapping and are believed to have fled to Sweden. You’re safe not taking those names.”

That night Eduard and his mother said their goodbyes. He tried not to cry but his mother held him tightly and rubbed his back. She tried to assure him that she would be okay on her own but it was not enough to keep him from crying on her shoulder. She promised that she would keep in contact with him and that she would keep sending over money, on top of the large amount he was taking with him, so that he could continue living a carefree lifestyle. Eduard kissed his mother on the cheek and got inside Heino’s car and waved good-bye as he drove away.

“Have you decided where you want to go?”

“West,” he replies.

“You mean America? You know you might not get in right?”

“I’ll take my chances. They won’t find me there.”

When Heino and Eduard arrived at the docks, he advised that he take a ship to Stockholm and grab the first ocean liner to that headed to North America. He assured him that he would keep in contact with him by using a fake name in his letters. Eduard in return thanked him for his help and asked that he’d keep an eye out on his mother for him. Heino promised that he will do all that he can to protect her and keep her safe.

With his two suitcases in hand, he boarded a ship to Stockholm, just as Heino told him to. In a few hours he had landed and quickly tried to get information on any ships heading across the Atlantic Ocean. He discovered that there wouldn’t be any more ships to America for another three days but a boat was leaving in the morning to Canada. Eduard hadn’t thought about going to Canada but should any problems arise, he could always travel by horse or train and go south into America. He made his decision and bought a one-way ticket. However he now needed a place to stay and went looking for a hotel. There was one not far from the docks and it was less expensive than he thought it would be. He booked one room for the night and when morning arrived, he made sure he was there early to catch his ship in time.

Eduard pulled through the two week trip from Stockholm. He landed in Halifax and was greeted by immigration officers. Now the tough part began. From what he knew, most of individuals who traveled with him in lower class sections were immigrants from Sweden and Finland. He was the only Estonian on board. He had heard from some of the other travelers that Northern Europeans had better chances of getting into the country than those from either Eastern or Southern Europe. He considered himself a Northern European but he discovered not everyone on the ship agreed with his sentiments. That left Eduard in limbo and it was all in the hands of the officers ahead. But when the officer stamped his passport, his worries were washed away. But when he had presented his papers, the man looked at him with a glare but he appeared content with his documents and stamped his passport. Eduard was ecstatic and happily thanked the officer. He was free to be in the country.

This country was large and vast compared to Estonia. There was a lot to see and he wasn’t sure where to go. But for now, he thinks he’ll hop on a train and go west. Who knows what kind of things are in store for him?

Eyvindur Sveinsson

From the time Eyvindur Sveinsson was born, he was always the apple of his brother’s eye. He was like a dotting parent: always making sure he was well-dressed, groomed, had enough to eat, told him stories before bedtime, and so forth. But the two boys hadn’t expected to rely on each other so early in life. When Eyvindur was nine, their father suffered a stroke and died before reaching the hospital. Halvard, who was seventeen at the time, quit upper secondary school and took a low-paying job in the fishing industry. Halvard was determined to make sure his younger brother’s life would not change under these dire circumstances. It was important to him that Eyvindur kept on going with his studies while he was the one to become the breadwinner and support the two of them.

Eyvindur and Halvard were half-brothers but Halvard loved him no less. Their father was a Norwegian professor and met his first wife while vacationing in Åmli. They married within several months of meeting, much to the distaste of her family, but it would be several more years before Halvard would be born. Their marriage would not last long. When he was just three, they divorced and his mother disappeared from his life. The last he had of her was that she started a new family with someone in Denmark. When he was seven, his father met his second wife, a young woman named Brynja. She came from a middle-class family in Iceland and came to Norway for work after she answered an ad in the local paper. She worked for his father as his personal secretary. Brynja had no interest in dating but she decided to give him a chance, after enough persuasion from letters sent by her older sisters. The two were a perfect match and they married a year later. Halvard didn’t seem to mind his new stepmother and she opened her heart to him. She saw the potential in him to go far and encouraged him to focus on his education. Shortly after they married, Brynja was beginning to get homesick so his father decided to pack up their belongings and move to Iceland. Brynja was not interested in having any children and was content with having just Halvard. But several years later, their family would grow one more and Eyvindur was born. Problems however occurred during the delivery and she had lost large amounts of blood. She did not survive.

Despite not having their mother around, her side of the family remained within their lives. Her older sisters in particular were very fond of their nephews and spoiled them rotten behind their father’s back. When the boys got older, their uncles decided to pack their bags and head to Canada for better opportunities and took their families with him. This left Eyvindur and Halvard without any relatives within Iceland and posed a huge problem when their father had suddenly died. Would their relatives take them in if they wrote? What if their letters get lost in the mail on the way there or on the way back? Would they even hear from them if they did arrive safely? There were many unnerving questions but the two brothers took things one step at a time and leaned on one another for comfort and support.

After nearly a month and half, they had heard back from the eldest sister and she was willing to take them in. Inside the envelope consisted of a pair of tickets for the ship ride to Halifax and some cash for food and tickets for a train ride to Winnipeg. It would be there they would pick them up and take them back to Glimi, a town that was well-known to be filled with Icelandic immigrants. They were told to pack what they needed and not to worry about the house. They would take care of it once they got here.

Life returned to normal once they got settled in their new home. Halvard returned to school and graduated top of his class and went on to university to study medicine. Eyvindur also focused heavily on his studies. The arts were his passion but he performed exceptionally well in math and in the sciences. When he had finished school, he was given the opportunity to study physics on scholarship at the University of Toronto. He immediately jumped on the chance.

Things however would take a downward spiral for him. Eyvindur struggled to adjust to university life. He hated his major and desperate to go into the arts but switching would risk losing his scholarship and having to pay out of his own pocket, money that he didn’t have. His distaste for his major began to show as the weeks progressed when the quality of his papers declined. His grades were low enough that by the end of the semester, he was at risk of being expelled. Halvard had known of his struggles through their letters and phone calls but couldn’t be in person to support him. The winter semester proved to be no better. The stress had taken its toll on him and he began having problems sleeping and staying on a normal eating schedule. By the end of spring, he had flunked out of university.

Eyvindur was humiliated and embarrassed. But most importantly, he had no idea where to go at this point in his life. He had very little money and no job. His brother had tried to convince him to come back home but Eyvindur was too ashamed to face his family. With nowhere to go, he packed his belongings and decided to head to the capital. He needed a fresh start in a place he never been to, a place to reflect and think about where he wanted to go in life.

Eyvindur settled in a small town outside the capital. He rented out a tiny room at the home of an elderly woman and worked for her as her caretaker. It wasn’t much but it was money in his pocket and he had a roof over his head. He’s not sure where to go from here but for now, he’ll stay here and do the best he can.

Crossing Paths

Eduard drove through the vast fields of empty farm land and made his way home. The roads were bumpy around these parts since it was mostly filled with dirt and gravel. He didn’t seem to mind however since the scenery heading up to his tiny home made up for it.

More than a year had passed and he had adjusted to his new life fairly quickly. But he was homesick and frequently worried about his mother. He settled in a growing suburb outside the downtown core in the capital. The community was primarily French-speaking and many who lived on the outskirts of the town worked as farmers. There was a wood mill that was also one of the main employers but rumours had been circulating that the mill was going to be shutting its doors, putting a good portion of the town out of work. Eduard doesn’t converse with the townspeople or partake in community activities. There are few foreigners in town and he’s often given strange and intimidating glares. He doesn’t think much about it however as he wants to keep his presence low key.

As he continued to drive, he saw an individual walking up ahead on the side of the road. He’s a young man with silver hair, neatly dressed in a dark grey suit similar to his, and carrying two suitcases. He honks his horn to grab his attention and pulls the vehicle to a complete stop next to him.

“Hey, you look like you need a hand. Did you need a ride?” Eduard smiled. The man didn’t say anything but a mere “thanks” and got inside. Once he was settled in, the man threw his suitcases in the backseat and Eduard continued on his way back into town.

“Where are you heading?” The man asks.

“Home. I live in a suburb near downtown. Is there a place you wanted me to drop you off?”

“Just in town is fine,” he replied, “If you want, you can drop me off at your place and I’ll be on my way.”

“Do you even have a place to stay? You’ve got a lot of stuff back there.”

He huffs, “Of course I do.” The car became silent for a few moments till the man sighed uncomfortably, “No I don’t. I was hoping to stay in a hotel but I’m short on cash so I guess I’ll stay at a shelter or—”

“You can stay with me for the night,” Eduard interrupted, “I’ve got plenty of room and I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Are you always this nice to people you haven’t met before? You should be more careful. I could be a criminal you wouldn’t even know it.”

“Eyvindur Sveinsson.”

“That’s a bit of a mouthful,” he chuckles, “Mine is Eduard—” He nearly bites his tongue over the slip-up but he doesn't miss a beat as he pretends nothing has happened. “Eduard Pääsuke. Where are you from? You don’t sound like you’re from around here.”

“I’m from a small town called Glimi in Manitoba. But I was born and raised in Iceland. And you? You don’t sound like you’re from around here either,” Eyvindur asked curiously.

“I’m from Estonia. I moved out here little over a year ago for better job opportunities. I’ve done some odd jobs here and there but I’ve never been able to keep anything permanent. But I’m optimistic I’ll find something soon.”

The ride into town was largely uneventful and silence took over after their brief exchange of words. When they arrived at Eduard’s home, Eyvindur looked at it in awe. It was a newly built bungalow, complete with a beautiful front porch and a well-kept groomed garden. Surely this was not his house, he thought to himself. Eduard went into the back of his car and helped Eyvindur with his bags. The two men walked up to the door and Eduard unlocked it. When they entered, he put Eyvindur’s bags up against the wall next to the entrance and left to go turn on some lights.

“Make yourself at home. It’s not much but it’s cozy and modern.”

Modern was an understatement. His house had indoor plumbing, electricity, and even some goods that only the rich could afford. Before Eyvindur hit the road with his belongings, he was living in a house with neither of these luxuries and he had no idea how Eduard could even afford a place like this. Especially when he had just told him earlier that he was unemployed.

“Come with me, I’ll show you to your room.”

Eyvindur grabbed his bags and followed Eduard across the small dining area and down a small and narrow hallway. He opened the door on his left-hand side and turned on a lamp on a night table. The room was nicely decorated with dark-coloured wooden furniture and some items that appeared to be heirlooms from back home. The room was covered in family photographs and two twin-sized beds were up against the wall and fairly distant from each other. Each of them had their own night tables.

“This house unfortunately wasn’t large enough for a guest bedroom so I turned the master into both. The one closest to the door is mine. If you’re not comfortable sharing a room, I have no problems sleeping on the couch.”

“No, no, it’s fine. This is more than I had ever expected. I appreciate your hospitality,” Eyvindur said before walking over to the other bed and placing his suitcases on top.

“I’m going to go and start dinner. If you need to wash up, there’s a bathroom across the hall. Let me know if you need anything,” Eduard smiled. Eyvindur thanked him before he left the room. He began unpacking some of his belongings and came across a photo of him and his brother together, taken shortly before he had left Glimi for Toronto. He placed the framed photograph on his night table. The glare of the sun setting catches his eye and briefly blinds him. He walked up to the window and took a look at the scenery. The fields are fairly open but it’s clear the area is expanding with new houses being constructed. In the distance he can see a church and the cross is poking through the top of the trees. Eyvindur feels lucky that Eduard has opened his home to him. But his problems are far from over. He has little money left, he’s unemployed, and he has no home. Eduard offered to let him stay for the night but he knows he can’t stay here forever. He’s not sure where he’ll go after this but for now he’s decided that tonight he’ll be worry-free. A nice bath would do him and his feet some good.

The Piano

Eyvindur emerged from the bathroom feeling refreshed. He made a quick dash to the bedroom in hopes that Eduard would not see him. The bath had done his body wonders. He didn’t realize how much his body, his feet in particular, was aching from all the walking he had done since the mid-morning hours. The aroma of Eduard’s cooking filled the air and had made its way into the bedroom. His stomach grumbled and it was an unpleasant reminder of how famished he truly was. Eyvindur hadn’t eaten much aside from some fruit he had picked up from a farm he was passing by. He had mostly been walking on adrenaline alone and it was only now that the exhaustion was beginning to set in.

Eyvindur knew he couldn’t keep his host waiting so he quickly dressed himself with the clothes he laid out earlier on his bed. He knew he’d be heading to bed soon so he decided to wear something simple. He picked a white collared shirt, grey dress pants with red suspenders. When he felt he was ready, he exited the bedroom and made his way towards the kitchen where Eduard had finished setting up the table in the dining room.

“Hey, you’re just in time! Feeling refreshed?”

“Yes thank you. Do you need help with anything?” he asked.

“No that’s not necessary. Everything should be ready shortly. You can go ahead a pick out a spot of your choice.”

When Eduard left, Eyvindur picked out the seat closest to the kitchen entrance. For a man that lived alone, his round table could easily fit a family of five. But he had slowly come to understand to not be surprised by any of this, considering the way Eduard lived. Eyvindur admitted to himself that his host had good taste. The table was nicely decorated with candles and little knick-knacks here and there. Some items were clearly bought here in town, as he recognized some coming from a shop he been to multiple times with his previous employer. But others appeared to be much older, possibly more items he brought with him from Estonia. A few in particular caught his eye and picked one of them up. He began examining it. It was that of a small woman, wearing a costume he had never seen before. The item was made from glass and was crafted and painted by hand. It was clear the individual who made it was skilled in their craft and took a bit of an admiration to it before placing it back in its original spot.

Eduard returned to the room and placed a warm bowl of sauerkraut soup down in front of Eyvindur. He went back and returned with a plate of rye bread and a small bowl of potato salad. He went back in the kitchen once more and returned with his own portions, taking a seat across from his guest. Eyvindur could hear his stomach grumbling once more as he stared down at his dinner. The smell of it was overwhelming to his senses but he waited patiently for Eduard to give him the okay. But Eyvindur was so engrossed in his meal that he didn’t notice Eduard had already started without him. Eduard observed him carefully for a brief moment and in return called out to him to grab his attention.

“Is everything alright?” Eduard asked worriedly.

Eyvindur realized how spacey he appeared and turned his head away embarrassed, “Y-yes I’m sorry. I guess my mind got preoccupied.” Eyvindur had expected that Eduard would say a prayer to bless their meal but it appeared that his host wasn’t a religious man at all. He wasn’t either but it was a huge contrast to what he was used to. The woman he used to live with was extremely religious and was forced to adapt to her ways of living so he would have a roof over his head. He had come to expect prayers before meals so the thought of not having to perform this ritual was almost strange to him yet refreshing at the same time.

Eyvindur finished his soup rather quickly and what nearly felt like an inhalation of his potato salad. Eduard watched him in awe. Never had he seen a man eat that much food in such a short amount of time. Either his cooking was superb or his guest hadn’t eaten in days.

“I’m guessing it was delicious?” Eduard smiled. He could tell Eyvindur was embarrassed, his face spoke louder than words. Eyvindur didn't say anything in response and instead merely nodded.

“Please don’t be shy. There’s plenty more in the kitchen if you’re still hungry.”

“Thank you,” Eyvindur replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

The two men had finished dinner. Though he knew his guest had taken multiple servings, Eduard still offered dessert but he had decided to pass on it. Instead Eyvindur offered to assist him with the cleaning but he told him to relax in the living room and that he’ll join him in a few minutes. Upon entering with his hands full of dirty dishes, Eduard was surprised, but delighted, that nothing was left over. He promptly went straight to work while preparing tea on the side.

Eyvindur took a seat on an English-styled brown leather sofa. He glanced around the room, admiring the décor. There were many shelves filled with all kinds of books; everything from music scores, to European history, to astronomy, there seemed to be a book from every topic under the sun, including some in languages he had never seen before. Perhaps it was his mother tongue? Eyvindur remembered his brother was friends with a Finnish man and the words looked similar to what he could see written on side. Tucked in the corner was a massive but beautifully crafted radio. Its presence in the room spoke volumes of the kind of money Eduard had. Even the small ones were not cheap and a luxury for many . Though it was none of his business, he couldn't help but wonder just how Eduard could afford such an expensive lifestyle.

Eyvindur's eyes quickly became fixated at a piano sitting across the room. A large painting of cornflowers in a lush green field proudly hung above it. It was a simple and standard upright piano, dark brown in colour, it was in immaculate shape as if it were brand new. Eyvindur got up to take a closer look and ran his finger across the top of the piano. Not a speck of dust could be seen as it fell further down, tracing the carved design in the wood and admiring the craftsmanship. He then dragged his finger along the keys. He enjoyed the feel of them as he felt a feeling of nostalgia come across him. The piano is what lit the spark within him to pursue music. It was the first instrument he learned how to play as a small child. But a feeling of emptiness remained when he remembered how it wasn't possible to make his dreams a reality.

You're so intelligent. You can become a scientist and be the next big name!

We only want what's best for you. You'll be much happier if you pursue the sciences and math.

And he did just that. In the end however, it never mattered. He may have had the knowledge for the subjects but he lacked the ambition and desire to succeed. He was doomed to fail from the beginning and it hit a sore spot from within him.

He took a seat on the matching bench and got himself into position with his fingers against the keys. Eyvindur appeared hesitant as he shut his eyes but after a lengthy pause, a somber tune emerged from the piano and could be heard all throughout the home. Eduard was poring the last of the tea into one of the cups when he curiously turned around to face the entry way.

“What a beautiful sound...” Eduard admired.

He carried the tray into the living room and it was there he discovered Eyvindur as the one behind the music. He was careful to be quiet when he placed the tray on the coffee table. He didn't want to disturb his guest as he took a seat and watched him play. Eduard didn't recognize the tune Eyvindur was playing and wondered if he was just freelancing as he went on. Regardless, it was mesmerizing to listen to and he could tell that the doleful tone bought a tale of baggage with it. He had curiously wondered just what Eyvindur had been through to bring on such a depressing sound.

The song quickly came to a close and the room went silent for some time. Eyvindur turned to face Eduard and he appeared discomposed, with his face looking down.

“Sorry I should have asked first—”

“You need to stop apologizing for everything.” Eduard replied with a gentle smile. “You don't need to ask my permission to play my piano. I'm glad I got a chance to hear you play.”

The comment got a tiny smile from Eyvindur as he finally looked straight at him. “Thank you. Do you play often?”

“Everyday,” Eduard replied. “When I first came here, I wanted my first big purchase to be a piano. I spent months putting money aside so I could buy one. When I finally got my hands on one, I played for hours till my fingers were numb. Music is important to me and I can't image life without it.”

Eyvindur had left to take a seat next to him (though was mindful to leave a fair bit of space between them). He was feeling rather thirsty and the tea was too good to be passed up on. He tightly held onto the cup as the heat warmed his hands. He suddenly felt eager to keep the conversation going.

“I saw you had music scores in your library. Are you a hobbyist or a professional?”

“I'm more of a hobbyist these days. I had dreams of being a professional, even got the degree to show for it!”

Eyvindur's eyes lit up, “You have a degree in music?”

“I do,” he nodded. “I couldn't decide whether I wanted to be a professional player or a teacher but—” Eduard bit his lip as he struggled to continue. The truth was he never really had the chance to pursue his dream, with the events that unfolded the way it did on the night of graduation. His degree was still sitting in a box locked away in the attic. It hurt him deeply that all of his hard work was all for nothing. A fake degree with Eduard's new identity was framed on the wall in the bedroom but it didn't hold the same value as the real thing.

Eduard was forced to spur up a story so he did just that. “I couldn't find work in my country. I went to work as a salesperson in Helsinki at a music shop for a while. It was decent pay but the company flopped after only being open for a few years . I struggled to find work again and was back to where I started. I then decided to sail to Sweden where I consider ed my options before I decided on coming here.”

“Why here?”

“Well truth is, America was my true destination. You've heard the story before. America is the land of opportunity! But I overslept and missed the boat.” he laughed. “But later in the day, I found out a boat was heading to Canada in a few days and figured I'd go there instead and then cross the border by train.”

“And yet, you're still here.”

“Yes, I'm still here. American cities are large and crowded. Here it's quiet and I can live as I please while being a short distance to the city. It feels a bit like Tallinn here, small but enough to keep busy, so I chose to stay and make a life here.”

Eduard was impressed that Eyvindur had bought into everything he said. Although the last bit was factual, much of his story was heavily exaggerated or just plain false. He felt horrible for having to lie like this but he was warned to say anything but the truth for his own protection.

“You must be an optimist to want to stay here. You won't find any music jobs around these parts,” Eyvindur scoffed.

“Maybe I am. Sure I won't get to be a professional player with my name in lights but I could still be a teacher. I'd be satisfied with that. But enough about me,” Eduard's voice trailed off. “I want to know more about you!”

“Huh?” Eyvindur stared at him with a confused expression. He was surprised to have the tables turn onto him. “Me? Why?”

“Oh,” he replied as he shyly looked away. “Well, I, er—”

“If you're not comfortable telling me anything, that's fine too.”

“No, no!” Eyvindur interrupted. “It's fine, I don't mind. I just didn't expect you to ask.” He gently placed his cup of tea on the table and placed his hands on his thighs. “What did you want to know?”

“Well, anything you're comfortable with sharing really. But I guess since we're talking music we'll stay on topic.” Eduard said before finishing the last of his tea. He placed his hand against his chest and continued on. “The way you played was beautiful and it moved me quite a lot. Where did you learn to play like that?”

When Eyvindur learned Eduard was staying on the topic of music, he felt a little less anxious and was grateful for the kind words. It had been some time since he had last played anything. The older woman that he lived with didn't own a piano, not that it would have mattered considering she would have never allowed him to touch it. He was just glad he never lost his touch.

“Thank you,” Eyvindur replied, giving Eduard a genuine warm smile. “Back when I lived in Iceland, there used to be a grand piano in our home and it originally belonged to my grandfather on my mother's side. Me and my brother used to play with it all the time growing up, pressing all the keys we could with our small hands. My father figured he'd put us in music classes because of it. I always loved the piano but my brother eventually found his love for the violin. My father passed when I was little but when my aunt and uncle took us in, we continued to practice alongside our studies.”

“Did you pursue music in school? As a degree, I mean.”

Eyvindur knew that question would come but it still didn't keep him from shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he looked away shamefully.

“Not exactly,” he replied, his voice turned rather quiet. “Both me and my brother excelled in the sciences and we were pushed to go get degrees in that. My brother was successful, becoming a doctor and started up a practice in our town. Me, not so much...”

There was a long lengthy pause and Eyvindur's expression quickly became melancholic. Eduard was wondering if he should say anything but as soon as he was about to speak, the smaller man interrupted and continued on.

“I got a scholarship so I could study physics. But I quickly realized that I was way out of my league with the materials. Every paper I wrote wasn't good enough. The sciences are fascinating, but the drive just wasn't there and I couldn't change programs without losing my fund. I felt so hopeless...”

Eyvindur felt a hand gently resting against the top of his head and he looked up at Eduard with a surprised look. Eduard had realized what he had done and quickly retreated away, giving the man his space and quietly apologized.

“I-I can relate to your story a little bit,” Eduard replied. His tone was nervous at first but he quickly returned his usual sincere voice. “My family had money but we were not rich. I learned my craft on my own and when I went to university, I felt out of place with everyone else. My peers were rich Baltic Germans who practised with the greats of Vienna and Petrograd— er, or Leningrad I guess that's what it's called now. But anyhow, there was a point I didn't think I could survive the program. There were times I was close to failing.”

“You??” Eyvindur said in a tone of disbelief. “I don't believe you. You look like you could outsmart just about everyone in this town.”

Eduard couldn't contain his laughter. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh but I'm flattered that you would say that,” he said as he wiped a tear from his eye. “ But yes, it's true. Even the smartest people can struggle in school. But in the end, I still pulled through. Because I was passionate about what I loved. You can't succeed if you don't love what you do. That's my philosophy on things.”

Eduard's words struck a cord with Eyvindur. He was absolutely correct and shared the same views as Eduard did. But still, the shame of being a failure in his family's eyes ate at him painfully within his chest and stomach. He tried not to let it show but if Eyvindur has learned anything about Eduard from their brief time together, it's that Eduard can read the atmosphere extremely well and there was no way to hide secrets from him.

“You seemed troubled Eyvindur.”

He sighed, “I understand what you're saying and I believe your way of thinking. I just wish others shared the same mindset as us.”

“Your family, correct?”

Eyvindur nodded and Eduard was beginning to get a clearer picture of how the other man came to be.

“I see. I'm guessing you haven't been in contact with them for some time?”

“Not since I've left school. I was studying in Toronto and then I came up here to get away from everything and start fresh.” Eyvindur explained. “I had some small temporary jobs until I landed a permanent job working as a caretaker for this woman at her home. She lived alone; her husband left her, her two sons died in the war, and her only daughter couldn't stand her. She still lived there when I started but she quickly married and I never heard from her again. I took care of her and her property. She was strict and at times utterly repulsive and horrid. But it paid better than any job I held in the past so I stuck it out. She passed away earlier this week and I was the only one at her funeral. You may have saw it in the paper but she was the one who left her entire fortune to her dog.”

Eduard gasped, “No way! That was the lady you worked for? I've heard some awful rumours about her. What a shame that she lived the life the way she did.”

“Most of the rumours were heavily exaggerated, but you're right. She led a bitter life but I still hope she finds peace out there. For me, I kept on going. I've been on the road since then, camping out in people's farms and taking food whether I could. I don't know where I'll go from here. I was thinking of heading back to Toronto to find work and a place to live. There doesn't seem to be much for me here.”

“Why? You've got a place right here.”

Eyvindur's mouth nearly dropped as he stared him bewildered. He said those words again. He couldn't believe this man's generosity and kindness. He has done nothing but take, take, take, but Eduard never misses a beat and keeps on giving.

“It takes time to get back on your feet. You're more than welcomed to stay for as long as you like.”

“I don't know how I can repay you—”

“Don't. Your company is more than enough for me.”

Eyvindur doesn't cry but he is deeply moved by Eduard's actions. He'll find a way to pay him back, someway or somehow.

“Say—” Eduard interjected. “Have you ever heard of The Written Hour?”

“No, I can't say I have.”

Eduard's tone was brimming with excitement. “It's a neat little show where the hosts reads fictional stories made by listeners who send them in. I think you'll really like it!”

Eduard nearly jumped out of his seat and dashed to the radio. Fidgeting with the knobs, the static on the machine was dissipating and a clearer voice was being heard into the room. Eyvindur watched everything from the edge of his seat with such curiosity and astonishment. Hearing someone speak through this massive piece of machinery was so fascinating and he never had an experience like this before. He easily became as excited as Eduard was about everything happening around them.

As the show played on, Eduard poured them some fresh tea and they curled up on the sofa together. Eyvindur was feeling relaxed as he enjoyed listening to the story. The host was reading one of the new submissions, a touching story about a long-distance couple reuniting at an English port. Every now and then, Eyvindur's eyes would glance over to Eduard. It was strange how he only met the man several hours ago yet it feels they have known each other for so much longer. He credits Eduard's easy-going and open nature. He doesn't feel judged here and they seem to understand one another, coming from similar backgrounds and interests. It didn't take long for him to feel a little drowsy and knowing he wouldn't last much longer, he placed his cup of tea back on the coffee table. The last words Eyvindur remembered hearing is something that fills him with warmth—

I'm so glad you're home.

The Market

The skies changed over so quickly.

Eyvindur rushed to the living room windows and shut them fanatically. The rain was such a surprise that they hadn't considered a “Plan B” when Eduard showed up out of the kitchen with a picnic basket in his hands.

“What a shame,” Eyvindur sighed. “To think we spent our whole morning preparing all that food for nothing.”

“I wouldn't say that,” Eduard said cheerfully. “We'll just have a picnic indoors then. Besides, we'll still have to head out into the rain anyway. I need some ingredients for dinner tonight.”

“I'll help then.”

The two men laid out a picnic in the living room and enjoyed a hardy meal with potato and pasta salads and BLT sandwiches. Desserts were chocolate and vanilla cupcakes made the night before. Eduard was sure to have the radio on as they ate. Friday afternoons were when they played some of new brass and jazz music currently popular in the clubs. When they were finished, Eyvindur helped Eduard clean up and threw the leftovers inside the ice box. They could use the rest of the salads for tonight as a side dish.

Though the rain didn't look like it was letting up any time soon, it had been reduced down to a drizzle and it was enough for Eduard to decide to head out for some grocery shopping. Eyvindur was quick to follow him to the door, the two of them changing out of their matching slippers and into their outdoor shoes, raincoats, and all. Eduard grabbed his favourite umbrella, the one with a large blue plaid pattern on it, while Eyvindur had a hold of a dark brown wicker basket. They wasted no time running to the car and headed towards the city.

Their usual routine was to park within the core and browse around the markets. But with the weather being unpredictable as it was, Eduard decided to find a spot closer to the shops he needed to visit. He wasn't lucky however and found himself parking far from the shopping core. No worries, he said to himself, they'd just do what they could and take shelter if they needed to.

Eduard and Eyvindur always did their errands together. Eyvindur often helped him pick out the freshest vegetables as he seemed to have a better eye for it than Eduard did. Eyvindur's opinion mattered to Eduard and it made his efforts worth the while. When Eyvindur worked for his previous employer, he accompanied her during her shopping runs but she always seemed to have an opinion of some sort (often negative) about the way he did certain things. Eduard was not like that at all. He was always content to join him on days like today.

Eyvindur had been living with Eduard for the last four months. In the weeks that followed his first night at Eduard's home, he immediately hit the streets for work so he could pay for his portion of the bills. Despite Eduard saying it wasn't necessary, the man quickly discovered how stubborn Eyvindur could be and no longer made a fuss over it. He was fortunate enough to land several different kinds of jobs, however he proved to be an ill-proper fit. Eyvindur was simply not cut out for hard labour. He was smaller and not as well built than many of the men who worked in the shipyards and factories. Customer service jobs didn't fair much better as he was rather shy and could easily get short-tempered with certain customers. He rapidly went through five jobs within two months.

But Eyvindur was in a happier spot now; he had found part-time work at one of the library branches in the downtown core. On the days Eyvindur needed to work, Eduard would drive him back and forth between the city and their home in the countryside. Eyvindur assisted with all kinds of tasks like processing returns, restocking the shelves, and working the front desk. The thought of working another service job had him feeling anxious during his first week but he quickly discovered the people weren’t as bad as he thought they were going to be, as he dealt with mostly young families and students just like he once was. His book recommendations proved to be highly popular too, as well as his charming appearance. Young women would occasionally flirt with him but their words would fly over Eyvindur’s head. Eduard had caught a few of those moments as he waited for the boy’s shift to end and always had a good laugh out of Eyvindur’s confusion.

“Eyvindur!” Eduard called out as he ran towards him. “Is something wrong?”

“Huh?” Eyvindur was a little dazed, not even noticing he was drenched from the rain. “Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” he replied flatly as he walked away and Eduard followed him closely. But he can’t get the building out of his head as he turned his head once more to grab another quick look before he turned his focus back to what was in front of him.

“You seem entranced by that empty shop,” Eduard said.

“Kind of. It seems odd that place is abandoned considering how busy the area is. Do you know what was there before?”

“Yes, that was a show repair shop ran by a pair of German brothers. We’ve been there before, about four months ago, when you just started living with me—remember?”

Oh right, that shop, Eyvindur recalled. His shoes were in rough shape when he had arrived to Eduard’s home and only lasted another week before the back end of his left shoe had opened up. “Yes, I remember those two.”

“I was always impressed by their work. The older brother got on my nerves many times but the younger one was always a pleasure to chat with. I wonder what happened to them?”

The conversation went cold and they retraced their steps back to their vehicle. But the building had stuck with Eyvindur and the feeling couldn’t be washed away. There was something about the place that made him want to go back.

“Eyvindur, does he have the scores ready?”

“Yes, but he looks nervous though.”

“It’s understandable. It’s his first exam,” Eduard said as he shut a small book with musical scores inside and rose from his chair. He joined Eyvindur who stood behind a young boy, who looked no more than ten years old, and ordered him to play the notes seen on the sheet in from of him. The tune is a basic children’s song and he played it perfectly, albeit very slowly.

“Nicely done. But try to pick up your pace.” Eyvindur instructed. “Let’s move on to the next song.”

The boy changed the sheet and it was another children’s song. Just as before, he plays it perfectly.

“Good, you’ve picked up your speed. Next song please,” Eduard said.

The next song was a little more challenging. They had moved away from children’s song to famous composers. The song of choice was Debussy’s Clair de Lune. When the boy begun the piece, it had started off nicely but with noticeable pauses in between some notes, it was clear he was beginning to struggle.

It was then a loud and jarring note echoed in the room and the boy froze in fear. Eduard however didn’t appear to be fazed by it and urged to keep going.

“It’s alright. Just keep playing.”

He did as he was told and he was slowly redeeming himself. Eyvindur was carrying a clipboard and jotting down notes as the exam was taking place. Eyvindur found his eyes wandering towards Eduard and caught a glimpse of a sweet smile as he praised the boy for not messing up a difficult note. Eyvindur quickly looked away and tried to stay concentrated on the performance in front of him. Now was not the time to be focusing on the looks of his friend and business partner.

Even though his heart really wanted to.

Eduard had nearly finished putting away all the dishes when the sounds of a loud knock made him jump.

“Who could that be at this hour?”

But when Eduard turned and found himself staring at the calendar hanging by the entrance to the dining room, he immediately knew who it was. He anxiously walked through the dining room and towards the door. But before he answered, he took a peak inside the living room and saw Eyvindur sleeping peacefully on the sofa. He breathed a sigh of relief and slowly opened the door. Eduard was greeted to a well-dressed man with short blond hair and a round face. He was much shorter than he was, bore a sweet and soft appearance, and spoke with a heavy Finnish accent.

“Good evening Olev,” he smiled. “May I come in?”

Before Eduard could answer, the man stepped in and he quietly repeated the words “No” and Eduard pushed him back. It was then the man saw Eyvindur sleeping on the sofa and his soft expression was quickly replaced with a dark glare.

“Outside. Now.”

The two of them stood on the door step and Eduard quietly shut the door behind so he wouldn’t wake Eyvindur up.

“Why is he still here?”

Eduard sighed, “I told you Timo, he’s living with me right now.”

“You’re supposed to be undercover until all this blows over! That means no job, no friends, no nothing.”

“I understand that but I couldn’t leave him to fend for himself. Besides—”

There was a long and lengthy pause but Eduard struggled to find the words of what he wanted to say. Not that Timo needed it. He knew Eduard long enough that he knew exactly what was on his mind.

“Eduard,” Timo said as he placed his hand on Eduard’s shoulder. He was surprised to hear Timo call him by his real name. “I understand that you’re lonely. It’s not easy being in the situation you’re in now. But you’re on a watch list and all it takes is one slip-up to put you on the first trip back to Tallinn. We asked this of you because we only want to protect you. You understand that right?”

Eduard nodded and gave Timo a faint smile, “Yes, I do—and I’m grateful for everything you and Heino have done for me so far.”

Timo reached inside his handbag and pulled out a thick white envelope. He handed it to Eduard and he took a peak inside. It was overflowing with cash with various denominations of bills.

“I’m sure this will hold you over for a while?”

“Yes, this is perfect. Thank you,” Eduard replied as his stuffed the envelope inside his vest.

Timo closed up the handbag and tipped his hat towards Eduard. “Alright I’ll take my leave then. I’ll be back in a few weeks with some more cash for you. Don’t blow it all in one place.”

Timo’s tone was playful in nature and it got Eduard smiling as his old self again. The two shared their goodbyes and Eduard quickly re-entered the home quietly. He was surprised to hear the piano playing a soft melody and he quickly realized that Eyvindur was up for his evening nap.

“Eduard, is that you?”

Eduard quickly grew anxious but he somehow managed to retain a cool and calm tone with Eyvindur.

“Yes, I’ll be with you in a second. I just need a moment to wash my hands.”

Quick on his feet, he rushed to the bedroom and stuffed the envelope of money underneath his mattress and tidying up the sheets to give the appearance that nothing had been touched. He then followed through on his words and watched his hands with the new soap he bought in the market a few days ago. The soap had a pleasant smell of lavender and loved the feel of it against his skin. Feeling a little more comfortable, he joined Eyvindur in the living room and took a seat next to him on the bench.

“Was someone outside? I heard you shutting the door earlier.”

“Just a lost man,” Eduard lied. “He got the wrong address so I gave him a hand with his map.”

“I see,” his voiced trailed off. Eduard felt guilty each time he had to lie. He’d always tell himself that it would get easier with time but the sharp sensation in his chest never seemed to fade away. He tried to ignore the feeling but it was becoming increasingly difficult and exhausting trying to keep up with this false life he was forced to have built up for himself.

“Is something wrong?” Eyvindur asked.

Eduard looked at him oddly before shaking his head, “No, no, I’m fine. Just a little tired.” Eduard said with a reassuring grin. He quickly tried to change the subject and the focus on music was an easy target.

“That music, it’s Clair de Lune that you‘re playing isn‘t?”

“You have a good ear Eduard,” Eyvindur replied as he continued playing the melody. “I had a dream just now that we were teachers and we were watching this child play this song. I felt a little inspired.”

Eduard chuckled, “That sounds like a wonderful dream. I wish something like that could be real. I always wanted to be a teacher.”

In a move that surprised Eduard, Eyvindur had cut off the tune but his fingers remained frozen at the keys. Eyvindur appeared almost expressionless leaving Eduard to wonder if what he had said upset him.

“Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I did.”

It had felt like minutes had passed before Eyvindur had finally spoken up to him. He moved his hands away from the keys and placed him against his thighs. Eduard had watched a weak and melancholic smile appear on the boy’s face as he appeared in almost a daze.

“No you’re good. I was just thinking the same thing.” Eyvindur replied. “I wanted that dream to be real too.”

Well, most of it, Eyvindur had replied to himself. He quietly pushed away the scene that found itself on loop since he awoke from his nap: the part where he found himself staring at Eduard in a more enamoured light. The idea baffled Eyvindur to no end. He had never though of Eduard as anything more than a friend—a person who saved him in a time of need. It was probably time to cut back a bit on the romance novels and poetry. At the end of the night, it was the only logical explanation Eyvindur could come to.

Yes, they were nothing more than friends.

And that’s all that they ever will be.