Affection

She doesn’t hug him—and he’s okay with that.

She doesn’t kiss him either. He’s okay with that too.

She never holds his hand in public. Not a big deal; he doesn’t like any form of PDA and hardly anyone does back home either.

She never tells him how much she loves him. He’s just as bad as she is.

They hardly ever make love to each other. That suits him just fine. He has never felt any desire to be intimate like that with anyone before and he doesn’t think that will ever change.

Their friends were baffled by the way their relationship was like. Their love wasn’t entirely lifeless however. They just did things differently than others.

There were no secrets between them and respected each other’s personal space. They never judged one another for their interests; they had more in common than most would think and they were happy to engage in long conversations about the supernatural, science, music, and crime novels. They went on peaceful dates to their favourite spots in the parks, the downtown market, and the theater. Estonia was happy to buy little gifts here and there and bake up her favourite sweets as a way to show he loved her. He knew she was thinking of him when she would spot old books for his collection and buy cheap gadgets that he could fiddle around with in his office.

They boosted each other up when they were feeling low although she had an interesting way of showing it. Her most recent comment, “What? You’re just going to let him insult you like that? Grow a dick and kick his teeth in!” still rang strong in his head after a frustrating altercation with an off-duty guard who hurled insults the entire time they were at a bar. He thankfully did not follow that advice, much to her disappointment. Estonia didn’t need a diplomatic scandal for his bosses to deal with. But she was quick to forgive him when Estonia took her to a different bar where a local rock band was putting on a wild show.

But most importantly, Belarus smiles for him. She laughs along with him. She shows the side of her that almost no one ever did and that was the greatest gift of them all. She never did that for just anyone. You had to earn it and he certainly did.

Latvia joked once that they were nothing more than friends who happened to have slept together once or twice; a relationship of convenience, he had called it. But Estonia shrugged it off. They were content with the way things were.

Yes, they were content.

He says this as he has his arms around another man, that of his good friend Lithuania, as he affectionately strokes Estonia’s cheek.

He says this as Belarus is in the other room sharing a heated kiss with his cousin Hungary and balancing a drink in her left hand. He can hear Hungary’s voice as she giggles contently within Belarus’s embrace.

“When are you going to stop lying to yourself?”

“It’s not a charade. We really do love each other.”

“I don’t think you know what love is.”

Estonia lowers his head and bit his lip. He doesn’t want to admit that he and Latvia were right. Maybe they weren’t as content as they would like would like to admit.

They wouldn’t be getting their love from others if things were okay.

He hates that he looks like a fool. He wondered if Belarus felt the same way.

© TESSISAMESS